Just shy of 6 weeks ago I had the baby. C is a wonderful gift I never thought I would have - never! I am so very happy and, at the same time I'm having the normal adjustment challenges.
I am happy to say that I lost almost all the weight I gained from being pregnant by the time C was three/four weeks old. I also have to say that I am struggling a bit with food, I seem to be hungry all the time but I have no desire to stick with the healthier options. Don't get me wrong, I can't eat traditional "junk" but I guess an apple would be better than cheeze-its! Part of the reason, I think, that I'm making the poor choices or am always hungry is because I learned to medicate myself with food - stressed = eat, happy = eat, sad = eat, etc... I am happy/sad/stressed/frustrated and I also try to hide instead of dealing with what is troubling me. I mean hide behind my addiction...food.
Sadly, today I found out that a person who I care a lot about was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer. My friend's dad was also diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer a few weeks ago. I am taking this as a message to either shit or get off the pot, as they say. So, here goes.... Time to air my laundry - I just had a baby, have very little desire to leave her - EVER - but I need to, have a wonderful husband who I don't want to let do anything with C except when it comes to the late night feedings... I don't sleep when she sleeps because I have a 10 year old and a house to run, plus, I think I'm just too ADHD to be able to rest. The hubs and L are wonderful - they take such great care of me and C.
I want for very few things at this stage of my life - happiness is on the top and well, I'm pretty close to that, health - well, we're much better in that area, family - couldn't ask for anything more, work - I have a job, I enjoy my job and am grateful I have one it's just not my dream job... I would like to have more money so I could buy a house and one day have my dream kitchen. I guess you could say that even though we are in a better financial place than we have ever been in, I really want a house and dream kitchen! The thing that I want most in my life is the financial means to be able to stay at home to raise my family. I hate that I have to leave C with anyone for her day to day needs as I go to work.
This is where I make my move to make my dreams/wants/desires happen. I will be recording myself in the kitchen making a Paula Dean dish but as a make-over dish so you can see how to prepare a delicious meal/dessert with less fat and calories. Everyone can do this but I am hoping this will be the start of something wonderful for me and my family. At the end of the day it will, at the very least, be something wonderful to eat! My next post will be September 7th (this is when L goes back to school) which I hope will be my dish video (the only challenge will be making the video on my laptop...new technology and all)
Be well!
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