Friday, September 23, 2011

What your partner can NOT do that may help you...

Not so sure I phrased that correctly, however, I was recently asked what was something I needed the hubs to stop doing and by stopping helping me on my weight loss journey. I told everyone (we were at a weight loss support group meeting) about this time, about 5 months post op, where I ended up in the hospital for a few days due to a complication from having the surgery. (Back story - I had extreme stomach aches, ended up going to the ER which began three days of morphine and testing to find there was nothing wrong...I think, in the end resting my stomach and not eating for several days helped.) The day I was discharged, we left the hospital very late at night and both L and the hubs were very hungry. I told him several times to go eat but he didn't want to leave me in the event I was discharged while they were gone. So, on the way home, we stopped at McDonalds so they could get food. This was very hard for me because I hadn't eaten in days and was going home on a very soft - mostly liquid - diet.

This was the last time that, as a family, we went to a fast food restaurant; I'm sure the hubs has gone on his own from time to time and I know L has been since but they very rarely go. I think, as I explained that him not going to McDonalds, Wendy's or Burger Kind with me in the car was what he needed to do to help me wasn't a fair answer - clearly, that specific situation doesn't apply to most people.

The better answer would have been: to help me avoid my triggers. Fast food, though I didn't have it often, is a trigger for me. It certainly does make meal time easier. I know that I could go and choose healthier options but I also know that if I go to Wendy's, I'm not going to want to get a bowl of chili - I'm going to want a double cheese burger, large fries (they have the BEST fries) and a chocolate frosty (I loved dipping my fries into the frosty - yum!).

It may not be fair for me to ask the hubs to avoid something he likes because it's something I feel I need to avoid but where we are in this together, I feel like this is an easy choice for him to make. I'm not in control of him so if he wants to eat fast food, that's all on him. I just ask that he doesn't when he's with me which he has graciously agreed to do. Also, given that it's fast food...which is generally junk...it's only helping him and L when they don't have it. Anyway, it's not like I'm asking for the world!

1 comment:

  1. I agree with you 100%!! I almost gag when I think about fast food, but if I see it or smell it, it's on like donkey kong! Wendy's fries are my all-time favorite as well. It is a struggle to reorganize the family to not eat fast food, but I would rather my kids struggle now than as an adult. They both have a taste for fresh food, so why spoil it? Kelly has started eating so much healthier in the last few years. He even eats asparagus.......holy cow.....I didn't think I would ever see the day. It does bum me out though because he can have a binge day and go WILD, but if I do it, I put on several pounds in a day. I know most of it is water weight from salt and carbs, but it is disheartening. He suffers from a binge as well, but let's be honest, most men can eat a whole heck of a lot more than the average woman without gaining weight.

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