I have decided to start a blog to share my story with my weight, weight loss, struggles and the reality behind what happens when the weight is gone and I can't hide behind the fat anymore. I'm hoping that my story will help other people as they decide to move forward on their journey. Otherwise, it will probably be a lot of random rambling! I hope that, once I get passed my introduction (if you will), that I will be able to share tricks and recipes that I've learned along the way. So here goes!
Today I am 35 years old, my baby (L) is turning 10 tomorrow, my husband (hubs) is 38 and I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant. I have been with hubs for 18 years, married for almost 12. We met when I was 17 and roughly 200 pounds at 5' 8 1/2" tall. I have a brother (bro) and two sisters (sis 1 and sis 2) in that order - I am the youngest.
A quick background: My parents divorced when I was young, my dad remarried twice, I had two boy friends but nothing at all serious - I was way too young, kids at school didn't really make fun of me for being a big girl but no one wanted to be my boy friend because they would get made fun of, school was a struggle for me (I've recently decided I'm ADD - self diagnosed - and I think that's why I did little but got by), I could go on and on about this that and the other thing but the bottom line is at the end of the day I didn't like myself very well and I always had excuses to fall back on.
Ultimately, I was a big girl at a young age. I learned to medicate my problems with food and think I really became a food addict; hubs and I disagree on that, he thinks I found comfort in food but that I wasn't actually addicted - I think I was addicted. I weighed around 200 pounds when I met him, I was 17 and 5' 8 1/2" tall. I have been told that I carried it well due to my overall size... BS to that I say!
Life with the hubs was great before he was the hubs. It was wonderful to be with a man who didn't care (or at least acted as he didn't) about my weight. We had a ton of fun drinking and partying like rock stars for a few years. By the time I was 21 I was over the "21 scene" and was ready to move on. We moved into our first apartment and we were DIRT POOR! It was still great though! From there we eventually got married and had L. By this time, I weighed 296 pounds pretty consistently. When I found out I was pregnant with L I weighed 315 pounds which I lost pretty quickly. My pregnancy was great - no swelling, minimal morning sickness and, really, no complications that were too concerning. Two months after he was born I lost 35 pounds - I promise you I quickly put that back on!
Life became much more of a struggle, sadly. Two months after L was born three planes crashed into our buildings and a fourth into a field. So many people were killed. I work in a government type setting so it was tough to go back to work, new baby and terrorists.
Two years later I was pregnant again, but this baby didn't make - I lost it at 8 weeks, about six months later it happened again.
Hubs and I continued to have financial challenges, as many do, I was an emotional wreck and just getting bigger and bigger all the time. I chose not to take care of myself. All that got me was 321 pounds, a prescription for antidepressants and my bed.
So this where my weight loss journey begins...
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